How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
