I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
