did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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