WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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