question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
