I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
