i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
