addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
