Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize