i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
