guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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