oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
