and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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