Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
