Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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