If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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