Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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