Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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