I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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