he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
