i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
