i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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