that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
