it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
