Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
