I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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