Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
