We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They have beer where we have blood.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
