you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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