I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
