Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
