It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
