please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
