Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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