He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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