and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
