Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As shirtless as possible
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
