I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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