Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
