I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
