Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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