just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
