Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
