Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
