If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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