If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
