hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize