Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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