I love black thongs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
