Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
