yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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