just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
