quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
