My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
