I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
