too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
