This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
