My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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