Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
