Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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