Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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