I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
