either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
