I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
