I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize