This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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