I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
