Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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