they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
MIDGETS
????
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
