just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize