It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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