so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
