I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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